Hello there, sorry I haven’t been on here for a while, I have been incredibly fucking busy as I got a new job! A job that I’m so pleased with, it makes me glad that I didn’t get the first one. Which is a great sign!
I’ve had quite a difficult time over these last few weeks with work becoming unbearable – and this is my only actual day off in 17 (!) days between the two, so my stress levels have skyrocketed and my stupid spotty face is showing it. I had a bit of a panic as well about the new job – I was anxious about the pace being so much slower and not having anyone to talk to – but that is one of the main reasons I wanted a change of scene – I needed somewhere like this. I think my panics were born out of… I feel like I’m spending my days off at my new place of work (which I am), and I’m fiercely protective of my days off, but that’s a very temporary fixture.
I think I just haven’t had time to be creative at all recently and it’s getting to me a little bit. But I know that the worst is almost over – just six more days of work and then I’m back to a normal routine, where my “day off” job becomes my actual job, and I get my days off as well!
Either way, I can’t wait for that. I’m the worst person for pessimism and I’m trying my absolute hardest to change that and I think it’s beginning to work. I’m genuinely happy for the first time in ages (mostly!) and I am looking forward to being able to take it slow for a bit.
I’m a very “black and white” person as well, and for some reason assumed that I had no friends at work and wouldn’t really miss anyone, just because I was feeling so crappy about everything. I’ve now realised how many people I’m going to miss – and a few people have made plans with me to meet up after I leave – and I never have plans! I feel really positive about it, and it makes me not want to leave, just a tiny bit… but I know I’m making the best decision. And I can’t wait!